We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
