If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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