I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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