this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
