Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
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