It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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