You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
