I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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