Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
