The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
