The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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