if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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