dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You are a genius and a whore.
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