no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize