Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
