That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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