I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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