U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
