I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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