just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm both gender and math confused
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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