This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
