sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Randomize
