I didn't shave. On purpose
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
