I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
