You made me cry and you don't even care
I wish my penis had an off switch
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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