never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
