Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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