Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Randomize
