i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
MIDGETS
????
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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