i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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