We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
