You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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