Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
