What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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