So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
