she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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