I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize