and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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