Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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