These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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