there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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