i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
