would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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