I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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