who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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