When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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