who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize