I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
