I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
