you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize