Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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