She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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