can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
