Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
