Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
