New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
