does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
