new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
There's always time for handjobs
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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