Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
